Let's say that, hypothetically, something terrible happens to Santa Claus. There's the very real possibility that he could, at any moment, be kidnapped by ninjas. And maybe, for some contrived reason, only a videogame character would be able to fill his enormous red pants and save Christmas. It's hardly improbable, really. Everybody from Elmo to KISS has to save Christmas at some point. So often, in fact, that 1UP is beginning to suspect that all this is just an elaborate scheme on the part of the jolly old elf to get out of his single annual day of actual work. Here are the five guys who would probably make for the best hour of crappy holiday television.