"DJs eh? Once upon a time they were either incredibly uncool and middle aged, and when you saw them on Top of the Pops you'd remember why they initially chose a career on radio. Either that or they were the exceptionally talentless individuals who ran a mobile disco out of the back of an old British Gas Austin Marina van, and came along to your sister's wedding to play "Una Paloma Blanco" and swig all the free bar.
Now though, even the really ugly ones are sex gods and goddesses of legendary repute. Spending winters in the Caribbean mixing their multi-platinum selling albums, then spending all summer bedding women called Stacey or Janine in the Balearics. No that's not a euphemism, it's a real place but don't ever drink the water or swim in the sea there, trust me."