On reflection, GI Joe: Rise of Cobra has much in common with a hamburger bought at 2am. If you're in the right mood for it (or if you're leathered on cheap cider) then there's a good chance that you may enjoy the first bite or two. It's sloppy and junky, but perhaps you feel that's what you want. And then you begin to sober up. You realise that your mouth is filled with undercooked offal, and your stomach begins to churn. It's messy, it's stale, and traces of it will linger with you for days. And the worst part of it all? You paid for this garbage.