Dearest Blizzard – I have a problem. You see, I've developed an unhealthy addiction to Starcraft 2 – never mind the fact that it's yet to be released – I can't be bothered to consider such minutia. I'm much too busy re-watching Battle reports, and then absorbing, digesting, and analyzing the excreted remains of every morsel of information you toss my way.
I've managed to maintain my composure since you announced it last year – but the tension is building, and I'm not sure how much longer I can last. Rather than deprive me the object of my desire and risk various unwanted effects, I'd like to propose a compromise. If you agree to provide me with a Beta Key to Starcraft 2, I will happily conform to any of the following: