Times writes: "This morning, before I sat down to write this, I killed three men. The first two I got with a good old-fashioned shotgun, and then for the third one, who was 8ft high and wearing body armour fashioned with alien technology, I had to use a pulse cannon.
That's the thing with console games: they offer perfect escapism. I've been to far-off lands, driven a Murciélago at 150mph into a wall, looked for the lost Infada Stone in a jungle, emptied all manner of artillery into the French and become a Shaolin kung fu master fighting alongside a fat panda.
The other day, for the first time, I had a go on a Nintendo Wii. I fail to see the point of the Wii. I used to think it was stupid. Now, after playing on a friend's one, I've changed my mind. It is, in fact, really stupid. For a start the graphics are childlike and wrong. It's all too bright and flat, like a kids' drink. Playing the Wii is like watching a futuristic Japanese advert in a bar in Blade Runner."