Promoted as the hardest thing since Chuck Norris' forehead, the following collection of grizzled marines, legendary soldiers and black-hearted school children cut imposing figures. Break past the Duke Nukem tough veneer, though, and you'll actually find most of these hard men are really as daunting as the Wii's processing power.
If over-pronounced bouts of masculinity are a sign of insecurity, then these boys must all sleep with security blankets constantly clutched betweens their stupidly-sized biceps. Cowardly, comically inept or just addicted to being murdered, they'd be ill prepared for an animated argument, let alone the vicious virtual worlds they live in. So, when danger calls or the faeces hits the fan, and you can afford them… call someone else.
Warning - contains spoilers.