How to make Lara Croft more family friendly

So Eidos plans to make Lara Croft more "family-friendly". Turns out despite the huge brand name and near universal critical acclaim, Tomb Raider Underworld just didn't sell as well as they had predicted, so it's time to tap that lucrative family market.

But Eidos don't need to spend thousands on a marketing consultant - we've done all the hard work for them and drawn up new versions of Lara. Indeed, one for every member of the family: mum, dad, gran, grandad and the younger sister. There's no need to redesign her for the teenage boy because that's just regular Lara. So, Mr or Ms Eidos, when you decide to run with these, please make the cheque payable to Mr Justin Towell.