"When we were children, we wanted two things: a Super Mario Bros. movie and a Final Fantasy fighting game; we got one of those things, and it made us wish we were dead.
Today, fifteen years later, we have the other one. Does it make us wish we were dead - or does it make us wish we were more alive?
This is a difficult question to answer. Come inside, then, and watch me run confused circles around myself as I attempt, with great vigor, to analyze Dissidia: Final Fantasy, a veritable cornucopia of aesthetic competence, attention to detail, affectionate fan service, and ever-present, cascading, waterfall-like arithmetic. Shucks, forget analysis - I'll be lucky if I can even describe it accurately without punching myself in the face on accident."