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GamersInfo Review - Wacky Races: Crash and Dash

GI.net: "Some say superb and at a fault, almost aggravating amounts of alliteration absolutely agitates any and all associated around or in the area. I always thought that an explosively colorful language can articulate a point perfectly and illustrate an image in magnificent ways not possible without unique and a nuanced sense of interesting dialogue. And yet others would love to dance around the English language in such obtuse ways as to create a labyrinth of such complex or fanciful phrases, any party lucky enough might feel blessed enough to spread the verbal joy in a relative manner. After playing Wacky Races: Crash and Dash on the Wii, however, I think the English language can jump off the highest cliff while I hand it the wrong backpack for a "safe" landing.

Focusing my complaints toward speech and not racing may seem a bit cross when first discussing a racing game, but if you were familiar with Wacky Races, you would be very familiar with why an abusive amount of alliteration takes noticeable precedence over driving slightly fast through a finish line. The game is based off a cartoon concept from the late 1960s about 10 cars full of different cartoon characters racing to get to the finish line. The rage I express is directly toward the anonymous announcer who is nothing short of a complete buzzkill throughout. He'll go out of his way to remind you that the English language is molested in all manners every day of your life and, sometimes, in horrifically cute or over the top manners in which to obliterate the chances of anyone enjoying a fictional race amongst a bunch of offbeat wackos for some unknown recreational reason.

I remember the dialogue as "fun" when I was a kid - much like someone might find curling to be fun at a second glance. Whether retrospect has the better of me or I'm not one for copious control when it comes to casting canny words in large bunches, the dialogue has miffed me in ways I can only attempt to describe here. Much like horse racing, no one feels good at the end of the day, and much like horse racing, the announcer never really stops. With this sort of friction from before the starting gate, you can imagine how taxing a Grand Prix could be on any poor soul wishing to see an end to it all."

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