What if the boundaries between offline and online friends has changed due to technology. Do we now live in a world where that differentiation is no longer relevant?
Nope still relevant.
Are online friends in any medium real friends?
My vote goes to yes; there's a few I met in person, and some I didn't even know lived in the same area until later. Everyone I meet is a friend? No. But I have made some irreplaceable ones through gaming online.
Yup, same here!
There's a group of nine of us that used to play Destiny together all the time. We've met despite being from all over the UK and we're all in contact almost every day of the week through WhatsApp so yeah, I'd say online friends can be actual friends.
Sometimes they can be. One person I know i never met, although have known them from online for almost 20 years back when ICQ was a thing, but I could talk to her about anything, and she would do all, if not more than any friend I know in real life would for me, and I for her. Obviously not like loan money, or drive them somewhere if their car broke down because of the distance between us, but on an interpersonal connection level, I'd say she's probably one of my best friends. While I don't consider the majority of people on my "friends lists" as "real friends", more like acquaintances, I can say the same about some of my friends in real life as well. I'd wager that for most people, the real life friends they call friends are not overly deep relationships, because it's hard, if not imporssible, to manage a lot of deep interpersonal connections, because even if you yourself are not self motivated, too many other people are, and it becomes taxing. not to say you wouldn't hang out with those people, but would you go out of your way to be a "true friend" and do whatever is involved to be as such? Level of friendship doesn't really have anything to do with actual face to face interaction, but rather how one feels, reacts, and is supported by said friend or how you support them, and just like real life friends, that level can vary from one person to the next. I have met people in person that I have met online before when it's prudent, and there are real life friends on my friends list I haven't seen or talked to for years. All that said, the bulk of the people on my friends lists for gaming nowadays are people I do know in real life. The only exception are from people I met on forums and at least respect enough to want to play with them. They may not be friends, as I wouldn't go on about my day, or try to get involved with their lives, but that doesn't mean that wouldn't be possible should the situation arise. Relationships like what the author is referring to take time to foster.
From a social media standpoint, friendship is for the most part shallow. I think gaming friendships can be formed if you like the same games, play together and help each other achieve objectives, progress, and overall have fun with it. Also, it could be a way for friends to keep in touch in the event they have to move far apart.
I agree with this one.
Exact same thing happened to me and my friends. We all moved out to different countries, yet, we catch up with each other while we game once or twice a week.
I think any kind of relationship can form through any sort of means available. Thing about social interaction is that it doesn't really depend so much on medium, but rather how people react to or feel about the actual interaction taking place. One's feelings shouldn't be downplayed because they find friendship from someone they met online, because face time with someone is not what makes a friendship real. There are those that put too much stock in calling all these people their friends, as I'd say a lot of times they'd fall more into the acquantances category, but I'd say that is like you'd refer to "your friends from work" who you may be OK with, but wouldn't spend any quality time with. There are other psychological things that could be detremental to someone should they put too much stock in such things, however, for any relatively mentally healthy person, finding a good friend online is fine, and it's worth taking the time to know more people when given the chance..
My gaming friends are my real friends
Opinionated. We don't agree on many things. But I'm happy we agree on this.
I'm just not a huge fan of competitive MP games. I lean towards SP and co-op. The only reason I would buy something like destiny 2 or cod ww2 is to play with my buddies. I have no interest in coordinating with randoms.
My gaming friends list is comprised of other games I know in real life, and those that I at one time had a good time playing games with....usually from trophy boosting sessions, or some online match, or more typically, some MMO that I once partook in. Some of them I'd consider closer than others. Others, just people I enjoy playing games with. Some I would call friends even though I can't go and hang out with them one night. It all depends on the actual inter-personal relationship that was built between me and that person, and nothing to do with my time in their physical presence. Some of these people I'd rather hang out with online playing a game, than I'd prefer to spend a night at the bar with someone I would call a friend in real life.
Some games yes. MMO's for example, if your in a guild for many years, then yes I consider them friends. I should know I have been with most of the same people from Guild Wars 1 since 2005, we all moved to GW 2, and I been with them ever since :D
There has been a number of people i loved playing with that i met through clans (CoD, Guild Wars ect) that ended up disappearing due to drama with other people in those groups, only a few people that I've met online over the years would I consider true friends.
Exactly, there will always be some kind of drama in games like MMO's. I seen many leave and or get kicked out.
MMO's are kind of unique in that they offer up plenty of time to build an actual relationship with. Other MP games, for the most part, tend to be more about the game at all times, and most of the discussion revolves around what's going on. But in an MMO, you can go around questing with people, and discussing or joking around about random stuff, which builds a different kind of relationship. I remember one of the coolest people I liked from online was my healer(I was a tank) in WOW. We spent a lot of time talking about stuff from the game to our personal lives. We joked around a lot, and generally just liked spending time together. That kind of potential is probably what made me stay with MMO's longer than I was really interested in them. When I tried to go back, I recalled how long it took to find such a strong connection with others, and since the content wasn't interesting enough, I ended up leaving the MMO games for other things, and not worrying so much about personal interaction. However, I also will agree, there was tons of drama involved.
From a Social Media stand point it depends. I have 700 added on Facebook but really only talk to 20-40 people at a given time and only hang out with 10. So that says a lot right there. From a gaming standpoint that depends if you want to be more then just people playing games. In the end it really comes down to your interests that determines friendship. Though I follow the 99-1 rule. 99% of people are fake and follow an agenda. 1% of those people you meet are real and could potentially be your friend. Real friendships are made through pain and struggle. You'll find out real quick who your friends are when you struggle.
20 - 40 people at a given time? Damn, I must be a loser. I only talk to 2-3 people at any given time.
You are a loser, but that's beside the point :P
I met my girlfriend through a mutual friend on Facebook about 1 1/2 years ago and we began talking about year ago. I live in Texas and she lives in the Netherlands. After a year or correspondence and even a visit back in the Spring, I'm moving in one month to live with her and work on getting my visa, learning Dutch, finding a job and so on. So yeah, even the impossible could happen. Truth to be told though, I've been meeting people who I initially met online for 21 years at this point so it's nothing strange to me. Even initially met my ex wife on MySpace.
You can have irl friends and online gaming friends. They are all friends of a type.
Do I owe them money? Do they owe me money? If they owe me, they better pay up! If I owe them...I'll get it to them sometime...
You sound like a credit card company
Isn't that everyone?
Definitely. I have a buddy in Miami, whom I have never met in person, but we have been close friends for 11 years.
I've met many online gaming friends in person, and they've turned out to be very lasting friendships, so yeah.
They're like work friends. They're great while they're around, but once you go home (or log off), you forget about them.
Depends on many things. I play with my main squad for about 13 years now on PC. We meet up once a year for a few days since we are spread all over europe ( Germany, Swiss, Austria and Netherlands) We meet up at gamescom, go Camping and have fun, yes I consider them friends, we talk daily.
they are like co workers. cool when they are functioning but are disposable any minute
this is a very accurate description lol (as mean as it is to say lol)
Online friends are real friends, IMO. Only thing that I would say you can't establish online is a legit relationship since (for me at least) it has to be both physical and emotional together to make it happen and being strictly online prevents the physical. Again, that's just my view on it. I've come across a lot of people who start being boyfriend/girlfriend strictly online, so it does happen.
I have friends on my friends list who I know outside gaming from school/university/vocational courses/in general and just added them to my friends list to play on PS and keep in contact. But anyone who is on my friends list or sent a friend request who needed help in games for trophies, or just want to play with me online in games I've played, or have met in communities like the N4G PS4 Community, WrestlingInc, DriveClub Community etc I always treat them like a real friend.
It's a bit of a difficult one. There have been some online friends I've spoke with for years through world of warcraft. Didn't meet up with them, but had them on Facebook, Skype and the likes. As I've stooped playing we've all grown apart. My ex on the other hand. She plays Overwatch and has no friends close to her but has made a few friends through that game. I see it as a bad habit and destructive but she saw it as the way to go. (If it was controlled). Me and her were great friends after we split up. But as she played more off this game, she became more of a stay at home person and all she did was play this game, speak about this game and speak about her online friends. She would make excuses not to hang out so she could be home playing with her crew. It got to the point their issues were priority #1, while my own were irrelevant. My nan had passed away I got close to no support while one of her online friends was going through cancer treatment and it was always talk about him, how she was worried about his depression, he lived 300 miles away and never met him...so thanks for that. We finally grew apart because she took the online friend stuff too seriously. Decided to date some young kid (we're from England) - (his 16 and she 22) from half away across the world. I gave up knowing her because she came across as pathetic in the end.
Perfect example of how some things can take on a life of their own. I used to play a game with this funny guy online a long time ago. Every day his wife would come home and scream at him because he was playing the game instead of being responsible and taking care of adult stuff, like his kid! I would hear her screaming at him and one day she even grabbed his headset and started screaming at me! Calling me a zit faced loser living in my parents basement etc. LOL. I tried explaining that I'm an adult with a full time job and wife etc. and I'm older than her and can understand what she's upset about. Nope! She kept on lashing out at me and everyone else that could hear her. (Mute anyone!)? LOL. But, months later, after I hadn't spoke to or seen him again, I found that out through another mutual online person who played with us that his wife divorced him and he was homeless or some shit. SO for some of us games are a fun distraction or hobby, others get so wrapped up they can't stop. Like any addiction I suppose.
That sounds a lot like a friend of mine as well. Women will never understand the importance of zoning out all your worries for a short time.
Sounds like a tough thing to go through. While anecdotal, and not really condusive to saying that online friends can't be real friends, it does show that people can become too attached to those that they really shouldn't be. Given the time frame, and the example cited, it's hard to imagine that her friendship for the other person wasn't more just a matter of empathy for someone who she had a connection with, and I hate to say it since you were so open, probably a desire to find something that wasn't present in your relationship to her. Some people are really bad about forging stronger connections with others that they know personally, because it's hard when you have to see them all the time, and not all people are capable of handling that stuff in real time. Online allows some level of interaction where the person can think about what to say, and the reliance on understanding the person is based on a narrow sliver of being able to understand a person on a personal level. The lack of body language, or in some cases vocal inclinations, makes it harder to get to know people online, or at least trust them to call them a "true friend" for any person who is rational enough to have some level of doubt. That doesn't mean that such relationships can't be formed though. It just, at least to me, takes a long time to really understand a person without seeing the whole picture of body language or real time reaction to the other person. As far as your situation, I'd say you're probably better off. Things would have only gotten worse over time, as she sounds rather immature and seeking validation in ways you may not be willing to provide. She sounds like the kind of person who needs to be enabled to do anything or make a rational decision, and as such, others will take advantage of her and if you weren't someone willing to do that for her(which you shouldn't) she would have likely just become bitter and taken it out on you in some way.
I'm really impressed with the response. You've nailed a lot if thoughts about my ex that's I've been having for months. Me and her would game a lot but she chose to play Overwatch which I didn't enjoy. That's where the validation came from her online friends. As all of them were found via that game. I agree I'm better off. It's less hassle being the one constantly picking up the pieces. I don't see online friends unhealthy. But as you pointed out. There is a barrier of reality, that will always show the difference between irl friends and onliners.
Yes. Especially if you meet up in real life. They arent the kind of friends you can pop round each others houses for couch gaming and pizza kind of friends, but they are friends you can talk to nonetheless.
Well, there are some key differences between people you have known in person (Obviously!) and people I talk to on my online games and then there is the "Friends" on Facebook. In our age of lightning fast technology, they are all friends to me to some extent. I would say that I have messaged with some cool people on face book, that I know I'll most likely never meet in real life. And it could be said that you don't truly know who is on the other end of that keyboard so you should exercise due caution before just throwing real names and addresses at strangers who could be lying about everything. But having said that, I do have a group of people whom I do enjoy shooting the breeze with during my online sessions that I have been talking to for years, and there have been times when none of them are online and I kind of lose the desire to play certain games because they're not there to talk to. Are they real friends? I would say yes. In short, in the virtual world of connections, you can get as "Real" as you want, just be careful, there can be some strange ducks out there! LOL.
I'd consider a real friend someone who is there for you through thick and thin who would die for you and you would them, who's bond is unbreakable, that you can trust and they can you who would never talk behind your back no matter what goes on. That kind of friends is tough to find these days, but I certainly wouldn't call a list of gamers friends. Sure you can have laughs and giggles, game together and that's great but you can guarantee when there in another group there's some talk about you somewhere Along the line. Ignorance also starts in the online friends world where they completely ignore your messages to game with others. Even though it takes 1 min to message back and a simple reply wouldn't hurt (I'll get back to you laterz)- or something like that, but then when they have not that group around no more they come looking for your butt to game with. Yeah there's many things online friends do online that are just as annoying as the fake friends you collect, but that's why I call them online friends it helps to keep the friend tag and online friends tag parted. Yeah I know there's many fake friends IRL the list of true real friends I can count on one hand but the list of many fake friends I've lost count that I've had. Especially those who are out for what you have when you got it, whether it's your woman because they jealous or to steal some at, there's always that type of fake ass jealous biatch around the corner who comes in making it look like there wanting to be friends, only for them to turn on you given that chance, funny ain't it how they are the easiest friends to find lol.
No they are not real friends
Ring some of them up, 'I need help', if no one shows up, then you know.
Are friends really friends? Does your wife still love you? Are you happy with your life? For these answers go to the church of Scientology................... ..............Or don't.
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