An Open Letter to My Gaming Trolls

Heather of writes:

''Hello Trolls, That’s all I can use to reference you by since you hide behind your cleverly crafted handles. You took a game that I loved and turned it into a place I don’t even recognize. ''

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earlygreenway212d ago

I appreciate open letters like this. I've stepped away from the mic in many games... permanently.

AnubisG212d ago

Well sadly, that's the internet for you but to make things clear, guys most of the time (90%+) are very nice to female gamers. I seriously doubt that this individual was an ass solely because the author is female. However guys curse each other out in a second. Especially 12 year olds who shouldn't even be playing online games such as CoD. My advice: ignore the assholes online. Nothing else you can do.

OB1Biker212d ago

Oh btw. A couple days ago on N4G the first line from the article 'Shouldn’t you go back in the kitchen where you belong?' was upvoted in these comments.
It's also too easy to keep bringing the 'just ignore' thing.
I'm a guy but still can realise a woman shouldn't have to step away from her freedom of speech because some @ss shuts her up.

AnubisG212d ago (Edited 212d ago )

Dude, as I said: ignore them. There will always be sexist assholes online. You know how many times I've been called gay by 12 year olds? My wife usually has a good laugh at these. I've been called everything in the book. Who gives a crap? Ignore them and that is it. But if you acknowledge them and start talking to them, it will become even worst and they won't leave you alone. That is what they want, to get you angry. People are assholes because the internet gives them anonimity. No one can change that. Well maybe a law that will force everyone to use their real names and a real picture of them. Maybe than this will be dialed back a bit. But I don't think it would be a good idea for many reasons. People will always find ways to mess up good things.

rainslacker211d ago (Edited 211d ago )

Did some guy prevent her from speaking?

No one says they have to step away.

I, as a man, can spend a lot of time trying to find a place I enjoy playing when I decide to pick up an MMO. I can go through many servers, several guilds, and in the process come across both a**holes and awesome people alike. But it may not be the place for me, so I move on until I find a place that is right for me.

I think that everyone probably has experienced this if they play online and wants to actually interact with the community. Anyone that uses the internet, and wants to socialize on it has as well. It's not a gender issue, it's an issue of just stop worrying about it, and finding the place that is right for you.

I don't write articles acting like I'm some special snowflake. I don't blame gender politics. I just know it's the way the internet is, and in some ways, real life is. The sexist remarks are just the end result of the lack of social skills of others who feel they are free to not be civil while on the internet. I don't need to write articles to bring attention to my annoyance of having to continuously move on until I find the right place for me. If a woman feels that she is being forced out due to her gender, then she needs to maybe step back, and look somewhere else. Any online community has more than one place to play, and getting driven out is just giving the trolls what they want...which is to remove your fun from the equation so they can rise up.

I landed here, despite the fact that I am a better cook than any woman I've known that wasn't a chef. Probably because I used to want to be a chef, and I tend to keep dating women who tend to be too persnickity about what they eat and act like they don't like anything, thus can't cook worth sh*t.

OB1Biker212d ago (Edited 212d ago )

In the moment as crap happens I agree its best to ignore albeit not shut up just because of it. Point I'm trying to make is its fair to talk about it afterwards like in this piece. I'm sure quite a few people don't realise how retarded their attitude is. Be it online gaming chat or community comments.

AnubisG212d ago

Sure, you can talk about a bad experience online. I did that before as well and when the topic comes up I still talk about some of it but this article insinuates that she has been harrased solely because, as she put it; "has a vagina". That is total bs in my opinion. She was harrassed because she was the particular target of the day for that asshole online and that's that. As I said before I've been called everything you can think of online. I learned to ignore these people. In fact, I rather just play with friends online or just mute everyone as fast as possible. Problem solved. No point to take this personally.

Injusticewarrior212d ago

Mute/ignore, turn the mic off.
Most of us were taught at a young age people can be toxic, the internet is full of people.
Non issue.
Cry babies everywhere!!

Summons75212d ago

Still, people should learn respect. At the very least you don't even need to mute anyone. Just start a party chat whether you have a mic in or not and no more morons.

meka2611212d ago

You know I can understand saying people should have respect, but it's not going to happen, ever. So we just need to ignore them. We humans will never have peace or a time where everyone respects everyone else, just isn't in our nature unfortunately.

Summons75212d ago

and it's that idiotic way of thinking that holds us back from any actual progress. We CAN get along and sure there will always be bad people but that doesn't make it okay to go out and add to that trash.

Allsystemgamer211d ago

Just cuz it's not ok doesn't mean you can do anything about it.

What are you gonna do? Police what they say?

rainslacker211d ago

An open letter on the internet isn't going to teach those people respect. This piece is more an outlet to vent one's frustrations than any real effort to try and bring some civility to the online space.

Respect is learned through social interaction. It is taught by how those in social situations are treated....or beaten into them by their parents. There are a lot of people out there who are not treated well while in social situations long before they ever get on the internet, and as such, they likely are not that nice on the internet. There are also a lot of people who are not respectful in real life, and likely have had someone try to teach them respect, but they don't want to follow any lessons, because they prefer to be what they want to be no matter how it affects others.

You put both of those into a space that exists without any ramifications to their actions or words, and they're going to act like complete a**holes. It's a common thing on the internet, and easy to find, but it's certainly not the vast majority of people, so I often wonder why people make it out like it's practically all that exists with just a cursory nod to the fact that there are decent people out there. Even Youtube has decent people being the cesspool that it is.

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PixelGateUk212d ago

the author of the post doesn't use N4G bud, i just post most of the site stuff here. I tend to just ignore it all, heard worse while playing football anyway lol

Dark_Knightmare2212d ago

Here's an idea learn some respect instead of using the anonymity of the internet to take your life frustrations out on complete strangers. Go see a therapist if your life sucks that bad

bluefox755212d ago

I mean, that's just the internet, sorry. Fortunately, there are options if you can't handle it, such as mute buttons, playing with mostly your friends, etc.

As far as your gender goes, people use it against you because it's effective, not because they hate women. I'm sure there are a small minority that do, but let's be honest, they're doing it because it gets a reaction out of you, by evidence of that fact that you're writing an open letter. Guys get ripped on just as bad online, but you don't see their gender coming up ever, and it's because they don't care. It would have zero impact. So unfortunately, until women stop getting sensitive about the fact that they're a woman, trolls will continue to use it as a weapon against them. But yeah, this isn't helping matters. You're basically telling your trolls that they've bested you, and that they can continue to do so simply by referencing anything related to your gender.

SegaGamer212d ago (Edited 212d ago )

Although it's sad, it's the truth. The idiots out there use the words that you will feel most insulted by the most. It's not because you are a girl, gay, lesbian, trans, disabled etc, it's because they know the best way to get to you. Luckily, i grew up knowing the best way to deal with these people, you ignore them. It's not a hard thing to do either, just ignore them and get on with your life. I have never understood why people care so much about the opinion of somebody they have never heard of, never seen and never will see in their lives.

Allsystemgamer211d ago (Edited 211d ago )

Unfortunately today rather than ignore people whine, cry and complain to the UN.

I find it kinda funny how some women keep saying they're strong and all this stuff but the second someone says slut online they have to whine about it all over the internet.

Do they not understand the hypocrisy?

You're right men just don't care. If someone insults you, either ignore them or sling mud back.

Articles like these just make the author look weak and childish.

Sorry to be harsh but I'm getting REALLY irritated with "Some random stranger who I'll never meet that I played a game with online that one time happened to call me a meanie meanie and my feewings got hurt so now I'm gonna write an entire blog to let everyone know how I let a word destroy my entire life so now everyone should just do what I want or I'll kill myself" articles....

OB1Biker212d ago

Except this 'open letter' might be more a matter of singling out the trolls in the eye of a larger community and making people aware of what she's gone through.
In any case nothing wrong in using her freedom of speech.

Allsystemgamer211d ago (Edited 211d ago )

What did she go through exactly? She got called names? By random people online?

She's whining is what she's doing.

"Not everyone treats me like I'm the best wah! The guys are treating me like the other guys wah!"

This is why the mute button exists.

It's whining. If some stranger on the internet hurts your feelings enough where it harms you then you need to seek a medical professional. Because that's just dumb.

It would be like me calling you a fagg0t on a forum then you going to cry about my post in a blog. It's petty.

Stop glorifying these weak ass people. It makes them look worse and worse.

rainslacker211d ago

On any given day, many of us could take all sorts of abuse on this very forum for our views or opinions or even console preference. An innocuous comment can quickly turn around on us to become a barrage of insults, and a staple of insinuations on any manner of our character. And for the most part, we are a community of people who interact often with one another, not just random strangers with no attachment.

Some people here complain about it, and those people are the ones who act the most childish, because all they seem like is they're playing the victim, because they seem incapable of bringing any sort of counter argument which makes them look intelligent or respectable.

Those who tend to be more respected on this site tend to be those who don't allow such things to get to them, and mostly just stick to the topic at hand, or try to respond with somewhat reasonable responses, even if they go off topic.

So, how is what she experienced any different? Why should we respect her if she's going to play the victim because she couldn't rise above the abuse, and keep her focus on being where she wants to be, doing what she wants to do?

She's not special. I empathize with her experience, because I've gone through it too. Not because of my gender, but because of any reason that people can find to try and bring me down. I learned long ago that letting things affect me personally, or being compelled to go somewhere else because my feelings were hurt is just me closing off my options, and not acting like an adult who can stand up for themselves, and believe in themselves enough to not allow random people, even if we have some repoire, bring me down.

SuperRaccoon212d ago

Agreed. The best insults are personalized; no one gets offended by "your mom" insults--maybe a couple of kids, you have to put some thought into it. That's why the insults you usually hear online are so similar, including stuff like gender, accents, race, age or nationality.

Ideally we would teach people a lesson, but we can't do that. The next best option is to move on. Learn how to mute other players, get a decent group of friends, and enjoy your game.

AnubisG212d ago

I don't know why anyone disagreed with you. You are 100% spot on.

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yarbie1000212d ago

Made sure ad blocker was on, went to have a look & found what I expected. More crying about misogyny & gamers hate women bs. Newsflash, men deal with trash talking & screwing our mothers as well. There is a mute feature for a reason. There is an option to only accept mail from people on your friends list for a reason. Get over it & stop cryin like a lil girl. Your open letter just let the trolls know they are winning.

PixelGateUk212d ago (Edited 212d ago )

No adverts on the site anyway dude

AnubisG212d ago

To some people, it's easier to get offended, cry about it and demand that the world comform to the way they want it to be. Now it would be amazing if people would stop being assholes to each other, but I don't see that happening.

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