"These stories are getting a bit stale, aren't they? Not stale enough, apparently, or maybe it's just not important for Microsoft to fix their shit. You see, my latest Xbox 360 is dead. I purchased a new Arcade version in January after my then current 360 was assassinated. I've been using it since then until it started freezing, at which time I moved it to the other television and used it solely for movie-watching. Less than eight months later, it does nothing but blink red and laugh at me.
My relationship with the 360 has become abusive. I try to remember only the good times we had and pretend that the times he hit me are long gone. The 360 keeps telling me that he's changed, and I believe it because I love the 360. Then, for no reason, the 360 gets mad and throws me down a flight of stairs, I call the police, and the 360 goes into rehab for 2 weeks.
Then he shows up at my door, gift-wrapped, and we go back to doing all of the fun things that made me love him in the first place. Every time we get together, though, I'm always fearful that he will slip into his abusive ways. Sometimes the 360 will freeze during a game, and I reset it hoping that I will see green lights and not red ones. Sometimes I turn it on and see no lights for a few seconds, and I get scared. I never know when the 360 is going to hurt me again."