Vice: It was at EGX Rezzed earlier this year when my eyes were first assaulted by Tembo the Badass Elephant. I didn't play the game then, but its accompanying branding was too boisterous to be blanked. A plump protagonist, made up like a Cartoon Network Rambo, like a total flashback to the 1990s era of platforming animal heroes – what's not to like? And then there were the names attached to the game: Game Freak, famous for its long-running Pokémon games, on development, and SEGA as the publisher. For someone whose childhood was largely spent pushing a blue hedgehog from left to right, and who remembers the fuss surrounding Pokémon Red and Blue on the Game Boy (I had – I have – the latter), every electric tingle from my amygdala was screaming: this will not totally suck.