SteamFirst: “Your name is Lorphio. You are a Barbarian, of Goern descent. You were born a very old monk. You named yourself The Great One. Raised by an anteater, you became a god among women in bed. You’ve always regretted kissing that singing fish. One to enjoy the dark arts, you tend to stub your toe a lot. Today you found out that were adopted… a dark cloud passes overhead. You close your eyes. Out of nowhere, a woman jumps out at you and claws your left toe.