Vice: A couple of weeks ago, I was a contender – a rarity in my life, let me tell you. I've never really been the best at anything. I won a book token in senior school for being pretty good in my graphics class, but otherwise: it's always a case of almost but not quite, of coming in third, of being just behind the other guy(s). "Just" being subjective, of course – there's a reason I never represented my school's "A" team at any sport. Unless field hockey counts but, come on now, it really doesn't.