Vice: "You don't have a date on Valentine's Day," your friends in relationships have probably announced piously, "because you spend too long sitting indoors playing video games."
A tired cliché. Reductive. Bullshit. Like all art forms, video games are an invaluable aid to successful courtship. Films, for instance, have been instructing humans on how to go about jiggling secret bits of their anatomies inside other secret bits for a hundred years. What lessons are there about wooism that can't be learned from When Harry Met Sally, or the dithering buffoonery of foppish tooth-tent Hugh Grant? None that'll get you off, that's for darn tootin'. The same goes for books and music—and so it is with video games.
Far from being an activity generally undertaken in lieu of more romantic, Durex Play-assisted bum-poking, games teach us a litany of lessons about how to instigate a stanza or two of the horizontal arts. Here are a few of them.