"Over the past weekend I was lucky enough to find myself with a few spare hours and unlimited internet access. Being the standup fellow I am, I decided to spend this time educating myself instead of buffing up the power stats of my right hand (by lifting weights, you sicko). Vaguely concerned by a dull pain in my pinky, which WebMD immediately diagnosed as a bad case of everything-cancer, I thought it would be fun to look up the various types of ailments gamers can supposedly suffer from (admittedly, your type of fun and mine are probably very different)."
"The ensuing result was a list of about ten thousand sites describing symptoms that, for the most part, sound like complete and total crap. And while I appreciate fear-mongering as much as the next person, I couldn’t stand the fact that most of these health “issues” read like a PSA for the type of parents who put leashes on their children. So what I’ve done below is list out a couple of my personal favorites in order of ascending stupidity, explaining what each one is and why it’s not going to murder you in your sleep like a brain aneurysm"