I have never cried while playing a game. Not until MGS4, that is. At the end of this game, I am not ashamed to say that I fell to my knees and wept; I wept for myself, for my penis, and for my planet.
I would award this title 95% were it merely a game, but MGS4 is more than that. It is a beautiful metaphor for the tragic emasculation of humanity in today's cold, modern age. This game has the courage to stand up and say: The Garbage Men are real, and they are within us all.
This surely merits at least another 9%, don't you think?
DUBIOUS REVIEW SCORE: 104% 100/100