The world can sometimes be a very cruel place. Chances are anyone reading this preview will have already gorged themselves at the fountain of urban misdemeanours that is GTA IV, either in real life or by skipping a few pages. Don't worry, it's not taken personally – you're busy people, after all. Rest assured that the overall feeling of this preview can be explained by a swift 'meh' and the noise made when just enough effort is made to expel air from the lungs. Anyone interested in creating the world's least convincing transvestite can therefore read on, while the rest get back to Liberty City with only a moment's distraction.
The story so far (in more than one sense) sees you return to Stilwater, the corrupt and occasionally disappearing home of the original title. Fifteen years have passed since you helped the 3rd Street Saints claim what was rightfully theirs, however, so the place has seen something of a face-lift. Existing boroughs have been given a Turtle Wax coating, while fresh areas have sprung up on the outskirts thanks to a mysterious regeneration project headed by some faceless evil corporation. Isn't the establishment terrible? Anyway, three rival gangs now fight over the available turf – and here's where you'll step in, chugging Alka-Seltzer to quell the pain of being knocked out.