Rhys from Awesome Games writes: 'Oh man, this new FIFA game that all the cool kids are playing sure is realistic! Look at how Michael Carrick gives up possession at least five times a match, just like he does in real life! I’m so glad EA Sports elected to cut out that pesky middleman known to the cynics as “fun.” That guy was such a downer; with Fun around, how can I ever simulate Steven Gerrard pulling his hamstring five minutes before full time? See, look, Gerrard’s out for the rest of the season! Look at what we’ve accomplished! Look at what we’ve–
Woah, hold on. What was all that about? My vision glazed over for a minute there. What’s this, then? Oh, it’s FIFA 14, I think I’ll have a quick game, actually…What the hell, Fabio?! You have the touch of a donkey’s hind leg! Screw this, where’s my copy of Sensible Soccer?'