The scattered remains of five British Navy ships surrounded our vessel. Wood, rum barrels and charred corpses floated about impotently, as my crew cheered and began loading plundered cargo into the hold. Suddenly a red sail pierced the horizon, and pirate bounty hunters levelled their broadside cannons at our ship. Again there is yelling and flames and blood; a storm rages all around us as we send another dozen souls to the depths of hell. First Mate Ubisoft politely taps me on the shoulder and asks if I could please get back to the main plot. I laugh and shoot an ocelot with a blunderbuss.