Pocket Frenzy of Spong writes: "Getting up at 5.30am is never my favourite thing to do, particularly when I'm supposed to be on holiday. Getting in at 5.30am – yes – but not up. However, for this, I will make an exception. I, along with most of the gaming population of Britain, have been getting rather excited about the impending release of Grand Theft Auto IV. This is a strange phenomenon as the previously released GTAs have done nothing to excite me, despite the best attempts of friends and loved ones.
The truth is, I'm no good at them, and like most socially inept and competitive gamers this means I don't like them. But, what with it being a while since San Andreas, I have sort of forgotten why I'm not so good at it using my amazing short term memory loss, which I worked so hard to cultivate - though I should perhaps give honourable mention to the Frenzy gene pool. Yet despite this, or maybe because of this, when the opportunity to go to the GTA multi avi in Lahndahn I bit the Evil Editor's hand off. Figuratively speaking. Not literally, I wouldn't. Unless he'd been holding a Marlboro Red and some risotto. Maybe then.
Cue JLR (James – the new SPOnG journalist) and me driving south down the M1 - me painting my nails whilst he attempts to get businessmen to give us the universal rock sign of goat-horn hand and Gene-Simmons tongue."