With the news that the Xbox One will be getting a 53MHz bump to its GPU speed having failed to impress gamers, an increasingly frantic Microsoft today revealed that the console would also feature go-faster stripes.
It's fake. All of this website's articles are fake and it's stupid, not funny. I mean come on: "Rockstar confident only 19% of GTA:V players will commit murder". Why does this site even get approved?!
The stripe is part of smoke and mirror
I heard from a legitimate source that the xbox one has a muffler now as well
Do you not understand the concept of satire? We're meant to understand they're not being serious, you don't need to explain it to us.
on a different note it seems the ps4 has the high strips while x1 has the low strips at gamestop. x1 preorders capped at 40 , and ps4 at 140 and still taken in more. from my gamestop. in nj I know the manager there , he said hes surprised how many sony are pumping out and he said a sony rep said sony is not playing next gen there in it to win it big time .
take it easy dude enjoy life
Can we please get rid of this satire shit? It's not funny, it's just trolling for hits under the guise of "satire".
This is NEWS 4 gamers, but suddenly, users are not aware of that. No wonder this site's been nothing but stupid articles and no game updates lately.
Because it's satire, people enjoy reading The Onion due to the ridiculousness. Maybe you should take things less seriously and try to laugh. I think there are enough people out there fighting this moronic "console war" for you to put down your gun for a day.
An extra 53 Mhz boost AND stripes? Day one! lol ;)
Fact: Your at 50% agree and 50% disagree's. Thought I'd mention the obvious.
ROFL. Do you seriously not have a sense of humour?
I guess Cam has never heard of satire. Honestly I think we need more of that in gaming news. So much of what goes on in this industry is worthy of a little mockery, and more importantly many of the people around here seem like they could use a good laugh.
Microsoft's thoughts: http://memecrunch.com/meme/... Xbox One supporter's interpretation: http://i.qkme.me/3q81bo.jpg
if it had a spoiler and duel exhaust, Id pre-order 5!
This upgrade, just like the cloud, will make Xbone be able to reach 10 billion teraflops.
Aaaaaannnndddd this is the hottest article on N4G. Confirming my suspicion and validating my beliefs. Thanks, N4P!
Probably the same reason why The Onion is? it's hit and miss but some can be good for a laugh.
here's another statement for you to unravel and explain to the world: Super Genius internet commenter deftly surmises that article clearly labeled 'satire' is indeed "fake".
Someone get this guy a Nobel's prize in physics.
2 stripes or One? edit/ ps. @Cam977 (we know it's fake, just chill a bit)
so can I safely say sony can make theres go faster too and bump up the gpu
I wouldn't say safety, but maybe and depends on how much. The more you overclock your gpu or cpu, the more power is used and heat is created. But a small increase, I don't see why not.
Tomorrow headline: Digital Foundry tech analysis proves that vertical stripes on Xbox One make it look less chunky than PS4.
They're speed holes! They make the GPU go faster!
Simpsons reference, perhaps?
XBoNE: THE OVERCLOCK IT DOES NOTHING. NOOOTHING! *RRoDs*
This seems like the gaming version of 'The Onion'. One of the other titles that made me lol: "Microsoft asks those purchasing 360 games to return to store every 24 hours with receipt to prove they didn’t steal them"
That's crazy, everyone knows only flame decals make things go faster
And it must absolutely have a red paint job. ;)
Well, it has to be flame decals with a super-charger, otherwise people won't take it serious at all.
That's just silly, stripes and flames won't make it go faster. You need to jack up the rear end and put oversized tires on the back. Then it will go faster because it's always going down hill ;)
And/or weld horizontal metal bars pointing backwards.
lol When did this thread turn into a Hillbilly physics class?
Nice. sounds good to me
the stripes add another 53mhz to it.
55mhz, to be exact.
That could be a game changer! Ps4 sucks now, it hasn't even go-faster-stripes! LOL!
Ps4 has LED (neon) lol WASSUPP!!!
when i purchases an XboxOne, ima gana put some spinners on it... "now wassup..." lol...(never gana buy an xbox one)
You would put stripes on a grill? Will it cook my steaks faster?
Imminent article on n4g today. ''Why Xbox Ones Go faster stripes spell trouble for Sony PS4''
^^ right. Or this one: "Even w/ The One's New Go Faster Stripes, Why the PS4 is Still Your Best Option".
Don't forget Digital Foundry's take: "The Critical Breakdown Between PS4 and Xbox One Stripes Performance" On that note... imminent fanboy response: "The stripes add additional bandwidth capacity to the system and it's guaranteed to get an additional teraflop out of the system. This will leave the competition in the dust in 2015 if the devs stop being lazy"
"Don't count out Microsoft's stripes yet."
PS4 already have one. http://i.imgur.com/UEMKDOL....
I want that white ps4 now
Wow, I want that now.
When comes the white Ps4?
A white PS4 to match my white VITA.
That's nasty good. Rekindles my desire for that pink/white FF13 PS3 with Lightning on it. Dammit...
LOL.... “It was a tense meeting. They were all shouting at me, saying I couldn’t just keep making shit up as I went along, that I lacked a clear vision and that they couldn’t work under these sort of conditions." Am I the only one who wishes I was in that meeting room ;D
Nice, now add some Bull horns in the front and it might just pass the ps4
What is this crap?
Will I need an Xbox Live Gold account for my stripes to appear?
Nah, but you will need to check in with Microsoft every 24 hours to access the full power of the stripes.
The Jamaican beer? Not sure if it will make the Xbone faster, but I never turn down a cold one.
"Microsoft’s backpedalling could power small country say scientists" LOL Worth the click just for that headline. Thx, bookmarked!
first of all i got both consoles on preorder, lets get that out of the way. N4G has gone downhill, all news are bashing the xbox one. all opinion based articles and they run with it. i mean really? 2013 and still they r fanboys in the gaming scene! i thought we all learned that in order to enjoy games we should at least try to get all consoles. I get it if u can only afford one but does that gives u the right to bash the other console just to defend your choice? Grow up people
Hey if you cant tell were all just makin jokes, we dont mean it, i think the x1 will do just fine
Good News for Captain America and Turn 10
Fanboys of inferior hardware before 2013: Console graphics don't matter only games! Those same fans now: OMG GRAPHICS ARE THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS YOU'RE TOTALLY PWNED COMPANY I HATE! But seriously folks, hearing console fanboys argue about which console has better graphics is like listening to children argue about who has the faster big wheel. If graphics are your thing, buy a PC.
I want a coffee can muffler and a fin on the back so it's faster.
Although this is just a fairytale of sorts, one cannot deny that there is some truth there. Microsoft is a master of illusions. Much like a magician they weild the power of deception to make things seem better than they actually are. They hire celebraties to appear at their E3 conferences to give the appearance that their console is a better console. Why? Well because people of importance play it. They hire musicians to sing. Why? To attach enjoyment of the song with the perception that Microsoft knows how to bring entertainment and happiness. They tell jokes, act the trend, use visually appealing cosmetic tactics to dance around the reality of things in order to make up for what they lack. Substance. I've learned through life that this is true with many things. People who are weak tend to use their mouth. Companies who can't deliver will focus on cosmetics, convienance, and spin tactics. Microsoft brings in 3rd party talent to E3 and provides the illusion that it is a 360 exclusive (like Call of Duty) and they stand there like they are the ones who created it. While in reality they are nothing more than middleman leeches, the promotors, or the real estate agent...all of which scavenge of the successes of others while pretending their "flavor" is what makes everything great. I've seen through their illusion since the beginning of this gen. I've always known they would fail once the singing and dancing wore off.
Amen. My thoughts exactly.
Does this mean it will RROD faster? Or that M$ will drop support for it faster? Or that customers wallets will be held hostage faster? Please explain.