Empire of Sports is the Eurovision Song Contest of massively multiplayer gaming. It's brash, colourful, competitive, plastic, repetitive, and curiously addictive; it's cheap but glossy, shallow but expansive, cheesy but endearingly earnest.
"Welcome to UK! We are very proud to greet you there and wish you to become the greatest champion of Empire of Sports," reads the very first message when you create a new character and log in to the current test version of the free-to-download sports MMO. It's placeholder text, of course, but Eurogamer almost hope they don't change its adorably broken English. It suits the tone of the game perfectly.