Therein lies my folly, of course. First of all, the key to most fighting games is, of course, mastering each punch, kick, and special move and putting them together. My fanciful brain couldn't parse what I was supposed to do, though. I wanted to shoot fireballs and generate lightning and perform panty-revealing upside-down spin kicks all the livelong day. Second, I didn't actually know how to do anything. The machine didn’t have full move lists printed on its panels, and other players kicked my ass while I more or less fumbled with the joystick like I was wrestling an anaconda and flogged the buttons frantically. It was only on the occasion that no one was around, and I could play the single-player mode on the easiest difficulty, that I could last for a handful of bouts.