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Tits or GTFO

Unwinnable - I met this guy on a date – let’s call him Roy, because his name was actually Roy – in the dead of a Chicago winter. We’d gone out twice before. This time was different, though, because the meeting was indoors.

I scooted into the booth. We each ordered a beer.

Then, from my seated position, I shrugged out of my coat.

“Whoa!” Roy shouted.

Uh-huh.

“I didn’t know if I should tell you,” I whispered to him.

Yes, this really happened. Er, happens, rather.

I swear I am not trying to impress you, but yeah, it’s noticeable. It invites a type of attention from a type of person, hence all these coats and hoodies. I guess you could say I wear my sexuality on my sleeve.

Well, not on my sleeve. More to the left. No, to the right, now. Up a little. Down. How are you missing them? Seriously? Okay, look me in the eye. Okay, now drop your gaze toward – you’re just being polite, I can tell. It’s so cute of you to pretend they aren’t there. Just this once, it’s fine. It’s Sex Week here at Unwinnable, and when in Rome…

Oh, you’re a champ, you’re all Aces. Thanks. That was hard for me, too.

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