The 13 Worst Escort Missions in Videogame History

Dorkly: This week saw the release of BioShock Infinite, a game that's notable for many things, but mainly for essentially being one long escort mission that isn't awful. In fact, the game tells you right away to not worry about your escort, and that she can take care of herself. After years of horrible escort missions where you have to protect incompetent bullet-magnets who would sleepwalk through the beaches of Normandy on D-Day, it's hard to express what a joy this is. As a reminder of how well BioShock Infinite pulls this off, let's take a look back at some of the not-so-good escort missions in videogame history.

[fsfsxii]

WTF??
E.E mission was awesome.

[Greyslash]

Don't kid yourself
MGS2 was my favorite MGS, and one of the better games I played last year
But that mission...never again.

[fsfsxii]

What was wrong with that mission??
It was also short so i don't get the hate

[Cam977]

No way. That's the first one that came to my mind, I hated it with a sick passion; so much so that I didn't touch MGS2 again because of it. It makes me sick thinking of it, the amount of fury it built up inside me (I was on the highest difficulty available for a first playthrough). I hate MGS2, I utterly despise it. EE is one of the embers of that fury.

I love all of the MGS2 games excluding 2 - the anomaly.

[Mouktouk]

Why so much hate?
The mission is pretty short (a few rooms and barely any enemy resistance) and isn't much a pain. The sniping part is full of great codec / mic conversations and the swimming part is rather easy.

Plus, the Big Shell story starts to be really interesting and elaborate from there.
I can understand people may not like escort missions, but this one is quite short and simple, I don't see why you seem to hate it so much.

[ATi_Elite]

any escort mission in Desert Strike Return to the Gulf was a total pain in the butt.

running outta fuel, Ammo, and patience cause the truck you were escorting would LITERALLY drive straight towards enemy vehicles and line of fire.

[Lone_Man]

hahaha...i remember that...

[Canary]

Is there such a thing as a good escort missions?

The only I can think of are in really well-crafted action games, like Freespace 2, because they helped heighten the tension a lot. When you're tasked with defending your carrier int he middle of deep space, knowing you'll be stranded in the void without it... you're a lot more motivated to defend it from the hordes of mysterious Shivan fighters.

Or when the ship you're defending is a heavy-cruiser tossing out artillery barrages across space to hit an even bigger enemy cruiser, and "defending" it amounts mostly to avoiding gigantic beams of energy lancing out between the two vessels....

Goddamn, I need to play FS2 again.

[eddvdm]

lol funny and good article amongst all the the unoriginal lists we see everyday around N4G.

[miyamoto]

This is one of the worst escort mission i ever played ever!

Assault Suit Leynos 2 aka Target Earth for the Sega Saturn

http://www.youtube.com/watc... Stage 4

http://www.youtube.com/watc... @5:28 Stage 4

I lost count on how many time it was game over.

But this game is a blast to play! So much fun!

[InTheLab]

Vanilla WoW...Marshal Windsor in Blackrock Depths

Absurdly long and Windsor would frequently aggro adds from long distance. Hated tanking that back in the day. Hell...hated BRD period.

[jackwei22]

Not a surprise that Natalya from Goldeneye 007 is at the top.

[Anthotis]

Any escort type mission in Far Cry 3, where your success in said mission is decided entirely by fate, and your skills and tataus are effectively meaningless

[Max-Zorin]

Escorting Emma on Sons of Liberty wasn't that bad. Dealing with Ashley on RE4 was more annoying.

[Pozzle]

I don't mind Dead Rising's escort missions too much...EXCEPT for those those awful ones that require you to pay the survivor money, beat them in a game of poker, or fetch them a specific item before they join you.

I remember that awful escort mission in Dead Rising 2 where you had to rescue a group of women from a clothing store...but they refused to go with you unless you carry their fucking shopping bags all the way back to the safe-house (which then left you unable to carry or use any weapons).

ARE YOU SERIOUS?! YOU'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF A ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE AND ALL YOU CARE ABOUT ARE YOUR STUPID CLOTHES?! GRRR!!

[hazelamy]

how about all of Ico?
i loved the puzzle solving element, but having to literally handhold Yorda through the entire bloody game, and her not doing a damn thing to defend herself when those shadow creatures attack so i have to stop what i'm doing and go rescue her every thirty seconds.

ruined the game for me.

it seems like she comes from Fumito Ueda's assumption that all girls/women are weak and ineffectual.

[G20WLY]

Oh please! No problem that you didn't enjoy the game (though I certainly did), but Ueda's sexist now?! LMAO

That game was one of the first in which escorting another character wasn't a total pain, so should surely be applauded for that.

What about that Cooking Mama, eh? smh, why wasn't it "Cooking Papa"?! IT'S AN OUTRAGE, I TELLS YA!!

jk ;P

[hazelamy]

the sexism comment wasn't just based on that, but also some of the things he said since, most notable being how the lead of The Last Guardian had to be a boy because a girl wouldn't be strong enough.

anyway, my comment here was more of an aside.
you might be on to something with Cooking Papa though, i mean, most chefs are male, aren't they? ^_^

[G20WLY]

;) Fair play! Cooking Papa for the next sequel, let's get a petition going!

It's certainly the world's view that the far East countries are broadly less accepting of gender equality...

Yes, I see the irony there, as I stereotyped an entire body of people! Let's say Ueda is a "traditionalist", bless him! :D

[Scenarist]

haha they mentioned Blast Corps!!!
had extreme fun with that game.. but somehow i forgot all about it

[PygmelionHunter]

Blast Corps... My God, that fu***** truck...

How about the artifacts in Age of Empires 2? Like, there's this mission in which they give you like only 4 warriors and you go up against a whole army or something like that!