RPS:War. Face. WARFACE. War? FACE! Warrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr faceceeeeeeeeeee!”. The University of Bielefeld’s articulatory phonetics department has me hooked me up to their consonant stretching apparatus. The Cawood Minnesota cheek holder made it sound rounder, while the Roser Koenig* mouth gag made me drool it out in wet clods. I said it over and over for a full hour. At one point only dogs could hear me, and they howled in derision. It’s no good. I can’t configure my mouth to make Warface sound any less ridiculous, not even with academic help. After extensive testing, we concluded that it was a silly name. So I approached my day at Crytek with swollen jawed trepidation. I was going to hear that name.