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Submitted by Pozzle 1062d ago | opinion piece

The Wii U Will Be 2013's Greatest Sex Machine

CheatCC writes:

I know it seems a little strange to use the words sex and Nintendo in the same sentence, unless you're writing something like "Nintendo consoles will keep you from having sex." And even though that may still be true, their newest system has a distinctly more adult focus. (Nintendo, Wii U)

Ezz2013  +   1062d ago
"The Wii U Will Be 2013's Greatest Sex Machine"
#1 (Edited 1062d ago ) | Agree(25) | Disagree(3) | Report | Reply
legend911  +   1062d ago
Works for me either way!
SilentNegotiator  +   1061d ago
.....where do I put it?
perdie  +   1061d ago
wherever it fits dude ;) and even in some places where it doesn't fit, if you know what I'm saying...
#1.2.1 (Edited 1061d ago ) | Agree(2) | Disagree(1) | Report
ProjectSiK  +   1061d ago
God dammit, Perdie...
showtimefolks  +   1061d ago
who is this half girl naked with article? she looks like a pornstar

VonBraunschweigg  +   1061d ago
Pornactress, a pornstar would have the Wii mote all the way up there.
showtimefolks  +   1060d ago
who is the girl half naked girl? i must know lol
metroid32  +   1062d ago
Wii U is the best console going forward.
LOGICWINS  +   1062d ago
...for sex.
bozebo  +   1062d ago
If they make a Pokémon MMO... so much epicness would ensue. They wouldn't launch it until the console sells at a profit though, because many people would mostly play it and not much else on the system, I don't think the market conditions are right for it having a subscription fee either. 3rd party publishers probably don't want them to make one, unfortunately they do have some pressure in the console industry.

But, but.... Pokédex on the controller!

Anyway, obviously it's the best console going forward if you are only comparing it to the 360 and PS3. But everyone is pretty sure Sony or MS's next offering (or both) will be way better.
#2.2 (Edited 1062d ago ) | Agree(5) | Disagree(7) | Report | Reply
2pacalypsenow  +   1061d ago
Yeah until Ps4 and the Next xbox are announced
H4all  +   1062d ago
The story of article din't good as his title.. -_____-
Kingofwiiu  +   1062d ago
My wiiu can be a sex machine ? YEH!!!
momthemeatloaf  +   1062d ago
I guess u gotta find some use out of it
Kingofwiiu  +   1062d ago
That's what the playstation move was for.....

People never actually played games with that thing...
Machioto  +   1062d ago
@kingoftrolls Guess you've missed the ign spoof the move doesn't,look like a sex toy.

Related video
#5.1.1 (Edited 1062d ago ) | Agree(4) | Disagree(6) | Report
nirwanda  +   1062d ago
I knew there was a second screen for a reason, I could see this happening somewhere
'You can watch whatever you like on the TV now we have a wii U darling, I will just take the wii U pad upstairs so the sound doesn't disturb you, there is a new app i would like to look at'
bwazy  +   1062d ago
Yeah except I doubt you could take it upstairs without the controller getting d/c'd.
corrus  +   1062d ago
MasterCornholio  +   1062d ago
With all the weird accessory's that the Japanese invent it could be.
MrAnderson  +   1062d ago
Half naked girl = hits.
League_of_Draven  +   1061d ago
Half clothed girl = no hits.
JaggedCarpet  +   1062d ago
Come for the games, stay for the sex.
ado908  +   1061d ago
It'sh my turn to usshheee da sexbox -.-
DivineAssault  +   1061d ago
as long as its after 10pm lol.. child restrictions
SmokingMonkey  +   1061d ago
Wii U greatest sex machine?!
I think they meant that
The Wii U will be 2013's greatest MASTURBATION machine.

Just because you will be able to stream porn on your WiiU gamepad doesn't mean your having sex, it means your masturbating in a very strange way.
Thepcz  +   1061d ago
wiiu lap dance
what if they used the augmented reality function to make a hot woman magically dance/strip in your living room when you look at the control pad. she could even get on your lap :O
younghavok  +   1061d ago
Sex sells, just ask Sony, they learned the hardway if I recall.

But to the topic, we dont need sugardvd or whatever its called. there is a hub of porn (hint hint) that works just fine from the browser as is. Why get seperate app for that? We see how the youtube thing is working already
Newsman  +   1061d ago
#16 (Edited 1061d ago ) | Agree(0) | Disagree(0) | Report | Reply
BLKxSEPTEMBER  +   1061d ago
*grabs Wii u gamepad to play zombie u* awww man!!! Who left jeez on my screen!!!!
googergieger  +   1061d ago
Well, glad to see it's good for something, at least...
OmegaSlayer  +   1061d ago
When the parents will know there's a porn risk on the system they won't buy it for their kids, pokemon or not.
I hope Nintendo and WiiU bombs soon, very soon.
Conzul  +   1061d ago
Bit harsh, doncha think?

I'll wait till the console ends its lifecycle and then buy it cheap to play the generational Zelda game. Ninty is good for *something*
#19.1 (Edited 1061d ago ) | Agree(0) | Disagree(0) | Report | Reply
OmegaSlayer  +   1061d ago
I don't question tastes.
You can like what you want.
Of all the stuff released exclusively on Nintendo systems I liked 4 games: Donkey Kong Country, Super Metroid, Secret Of Mana and Battletoads.

No Pikmin, no Mario, no Zelda...and I didn't like the revolutions they brought into gaming.
From the Gameboy to the Wii to the WiiU
USMC_POLICE  +   1061d ago
Not sure how great the Wii u is I always see them sitting in stores and I know I have no interest I'll wait for ps4.
G-cis  +   1061d ago
because nintendo always keep them in stock?
USMC_POLICE  +   1061d ago
No nintendo does not always keep them in stock I worked at best buy when the wii came out and we could never keep them on the shelf. I have friends who still work there and they say the wii u is always in stock and that the wii sold better than the wii u this holiday.
XTGamers  +   1061d ago
Behold, the power of boobs as bait to catch hits
Ares84HU  +   1061d ago
so the system doesn't sell and they thought that it's time to try selling it using sex because sex always sells.
Deku-Johnny  +   1061d ago
A dedicated porn app for the Wii U. Where do I sign up?
Bolts  +   1061d ago
I fap just fine with or without this. So, meh.
user947031  +   1061d ago
Can Nintendo make a game where I can degrade Princess Peach ? She needs to be taught a lesson for being kidnapped that many times.
profgerbik  +   1061d ago
I'll pass this is a pathetic attempt to make money off porn and sell more Wii U's and make it "appear" more adult. What a Joke.

As if there isn't enough free porn around as it is. Only morons pay for something as cheap and lowly as pornography anyway. Seriously...

Yea let's pay people to do basic things like shit, piss, eat, have sex, sleep and takes showers ect.. The world we live in is beyond retarded.. Is there a word that is above retarded?

A bunch of kids mainly all who will really care about this aren't wasting their money on porn, they have a computer I am sure that can easily access that for free and most people have laptops so no.. The Wii U is not special because it can go in your bathroom.. Who the hell has to masturbate in a bathroom anyway other than a kid hiding from his parents?

What kind of example does this set? Considering the main majority of Wii U owners are still mostly kids and under aged teens..

Hell my phone has full flash, I could watch porn on that if I wanted to also.. The Wii U's gamepad screen would suck for that anyway, it isn't the greatest screen to use for viewing media just isn't..

Who came up with this idea Reggie? Wouldn't be surprising with the pathetic business tactics he uses on the regular basis..
#26 (Edited 1061d ago ) | Agree(2) | Disagree(1) | Report | Reply

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