90°
Submitted by DanjHobbs 765d ago | opinion piece

How I'm Using Video Games To Plan My Massacre

Ciaran Utting Writes: I don't have any real friends. You know, one's you can trust. I'm kind of angry at the world, but can't assign blame to anyone in particular. Maybe some corporations or something, like McDonald's. Except I do like cheeseburgers. Still, I have to express my rage somehow, and I better go down in history for it. Rather than talk to my loving parents, or seek professional help, I'm taking the easy way out, and I'm taking innocent people with me. I plan to commit mass murder. I'm also a 'gamer'. (Call of Duty: Black Ops 2, Culture, Hitman: Absolution)

GreenRanger  +   765d ago
Aww, his first massacre.
They grow up so fast...*teary eyes*
#1 (Edited 765d ago ) | Agree(17) | Disagree(0) | Report | Reply
MariaHelFutura  +   765d ago
Google AI will be sending this straight to the FBI.
MattyG  +   765d ago
And they would be smart to disregard it as it is clearly satire... OR IS IT?
prototypeknuckles  +   765d ago
heres how im gonna plan my massacre
1-get some pokeballs and go to the zoo maybe capture some bears, tiger, eagles, spiders, lions, and screw it ill get a horse

2-im going to india to look for a dagger that can control time, no one will fuck with me then

3-im going to hire a hedgehog and a bandicoot to troll all the scientist in the world

4-lastly im gonna kill some gods and demons and turn them into weapons like an electric guitar, or a giant 200lb mallet

yea world domination, XD
MattyG  +   765d ago
We have similar ideas with some key differences;
1- I would capture the gods and demons in the Pokeballs and release them into say, a shopping mall.

2- In lieu of a dagger, I would find alien blueprints and build a Crucible in space. On said Crucible an AI will appear and will strangely take the form of a child you saw once in your life. This Crucible will give you three clear cut choices (destroy gods running rampant in mall, become one of the gods or allow the gods to continue rampage).

3- Learn the language of the dragons and shout people to death.

4- Rig Megaton to blow. Negative karma, but I'll gain it back by giving money to the church in Rivet City.

5- Use my 1337 skills from COD to master real life weapons, because we all know COD is a combat simulator. Really, I'm wondering why the military doesn't use it, it worked out for Anders Brevik.
prototypeknuckles  +   765d ago
oh damn.....your good, this right here evil mastermind of the decade people. XD
ChrisW  +   765d ago
The best way to do a video game style massacre would be with Kirby.

Add comment

You need to be registered to add comments. Register here or login
Remember
New stories
20°

Hands-on Impressions of Moonrise, a Solid Mobile Creature Collection RPG | Entertainment Buddha

11m ago - EB's Matt Heywood writes, "PAX South was full of soon-to-be released titles from a variety of stu... | iPhone
30°

Grim Fandango Remastered might be the perfect video game remake | Theverge Review

27m ago - TV: "There wasn't anything like Grim Fandango when it first came out in 1998. Nearly two decades... | PC
40°

Dying Light Guide: Blueprint Location Guide

49m ago - Crafting will be one of the keys to victory in Dying Light. In order to get the best equipment yo... | PC
30°

Dying Light Guide: Tower Side Quest Guide

49m ago - The Tower is one of the first areas in Dying Light that you can get side quests. Helping the citi... | PC
Ad

See what games are coming out in 2015

Now - Visit our release calendar to see what games are coming out in 2015. | Promoted post
40°

Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel Lady Hammerlock Pack Impressions: The Ice Queen Opens Fire | Shacknews

1h ago - SN: Aurelia Hammerlock makes her debut as the latest addition to Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel. Can... | PC