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Submitted by Xbot360 1005d ago | opinion piece

Being New – Or – The Wii-U’s Playground Torture Party

By Zach Fox

Shaky legs. Mildewy sweat forming along the top lip. Eyes dilate and breathing becomes labored. It’s your first day and you’re absolutely sh****g yourself.

Being new is hard.

It’s not often in life that you have to literally become a juxtaposition to survive; the very idea intrinsically denotes a bizarre paradoxical death. When you’re hungry you cannot both eat and not eat, when you meet someone you cannot be both polite and rude, when you’re falling you cannot both float and fall. Each time you will die, be it from malnutrition, a beating or nature’s biggest bitch: gravity. When you’re new however – whether in school, a job or even a public toilet (maybe) – you’d best be ready to bend a scientific principle or two. (Nintendo, Wii U)

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