Eurogamer Says: Hobble gobble gabble babble hocus pocus Go! Sports Skydiving. That's what the three witches said when I asked them what to buy this week. They said controlling a ragdoll diver and making it do all sorts of aerial acrobatics made them cackle and throw newts at each other, so I took it as a recommendation. Looks good too sonny, said one of them. The crones also seemed impressed when I told them about the four batches of weekly WipEout Pulse content for February, although I felt a shifty gaze when I told them the combined total would be around 14 pounds.
Then, off I went to see a giant I made up just now. He has an Xbox 360 and likes role-playing games. Not a lot for him this week, then, with Poker Smash the only offering. There are some new cars for Test Drive Unlimited up there, but that is a very old game and Grog, the giant, has traded it in.
There was more bad news at the top of a mountain where Billy the old wise goat was meditating on a pile of juicy grass. Baaad day for him, he said, because Nintendo had only added one new game to the Virtual Console. He had never heard of Lords of Thunder either.
Finally I had a stony response from Rocky the rock about the Steam offer where you get Deus Ex. for free if you buy Conflict: Denied Ops before the end of the day. His silence spoke volumes; clearly waiting for Ellie to finish her review before he takes the plunge, although the offer will have run out by then. But he is just a stone with no brain and no mouth and not real, after all. Wait, then, his final message.