Platformnation: Spelunky is mean.
All right, maybe that’s a bit unfair. Spelunky is indifferent. It is a game completely and totally apathetic to your worries and woes, your quibbles and your qualms. It is basically the cool kid at school who is only cool because he just doesn’t give a flapjack about you or your problems. If you don’t like him, fine, and if you do like him, then whatever. Cool kids are just too cool to care.