470°
Submitted by -Mezzo- 752d ago | video

Oral Sex in The Secret World is Simply Mind-Blowing

Kotaku - Each of the three secret societies in Funcom's paranormal MMO The Secret World have their own way of introducing players to the game's primary conflict. The Templar use magic. The Illuminati use drugs. And the mysterious Dragon? They induct their members the old fashioned, NSFW way.

In order to see the truth behind the comforting lie, one must first clear one's mind. There are many ways to achieve the necessary clarity. An expertly mixed narcotics cocktail might do the trick. Magic is definitely an option. (PC, The Secret World)

FarCryLover182  +   752d ago
Are you sure its "mind" blowing and not blowing something else?
#1 (Edited 752d ago ) | Agree(10) | Disagree(44) | Report | Reply
ProjectSiK  +   752d ago
Fail
FarCryLover182  +   752d ago
How is that a fail? I'm making a play on the title of the article, not the content.

It mentions oral sex, what else would it be talking about?
#1.1.1 (Edited 752d ago ) | Agree(3) | Disagree(38) | Report
Stephen5543  +   752d ago
@FarCryLover182
"Fail" because it wasn't funny.
pixelsword  +   752d ago
Oral sex in the real world is better. Get a wife/husband and find out for yourself.

I don't get how anyone could get excited about video game sex.
#1.1.3 (Edited 752d ago ) | Agree(8) | Disagree(1) | Report
AlienLion  +   752d ago
Pixelsworld
Really?!?! Its better in real life?!? No fuqing way! Please, tell us more of your adult experiences so that we know whats what!
PoSTedUP  +   751d ago
hahahah alien
pixelsword  +   744d ago
@ Alien:

The sad part is that you're probably dead serious.
Moby-Royale  +   752d ago
Speaking.

That is what else he "could" be talking about.
M83_  +   752d ago
Fail because it was so mind numbingly obvious it didn't need to be said.

Lack of it being funny also didn't help
FarCryLover182  +   752d ago
Alright, let's forget I ever said anything. Probably for the best.
aPerson  +   752d ago
We'll forget, but it'll cost you...
segamon  +   752d ago
3 years later..

1: "hey look, isn't that.."
2: "well i'll be damned! it's the Fail-guy from N4G.. and he grew a mustach like that would help"
1: "now that, is funny!"

just kidding with ya, it's funny how things may turn sometimes. have a nice day.
#1.4.2 (Edited 752d ago ) | Agree(4) | Disagree(2) | Report
Mike_Tha_Hero  +   752d ago
OP, take your L.
SephirothX21  +   752d ago
This pretty much sums up your effort:
http://www.youtube.com/watc...
hagla  +   751d ago
Fail
TheTwelve  +   751d ago
Pixelsword speaks wisdom!
smooch_357  +   752d ago
All I saw from the title was "Oral Sex is Mind Blowing".... and then I clicked on it.
Hicken  +   752d ago
Really, Kotaku? Guess I shouldn't be surprised, though.
Blackdeath_663  +   752d ago
i think we're pretty used to it by now.
claud3  +   752d ago
that is so so sad and dumb. get a freaking life really
azshorty2003  +   752d ago
Edit-- never mind
#4.1 (Edited 752d ago ) | Agree(2) | Disagree(8) | Report | Reply
bwazy  +   752d ago
Says the guy with a girls DD's almost bursting out of his avatar.
claud3  +   752d ago
yes. But that is cosplay and that is all
ATi_Elite  +   752d ago
says the guy whose Avatar is virtually in 3D!
#4.3 (Edited 752d ago ) | Agree(4) | Disagree(0) | Report | Reply
claud3  +   752d ago
so i am not allowed to enjoy a natural lady in her form as a cosplay model. And look upon it as a beautiful lady
bwazy  +   752d ago
@claud3

Pretty sure blowjobs are more natural than cosplay models, and have definitely been around A LOT longer than them.

So are we now allowed to enjoy a natural blowjob in the form of a videogame. And look upon it as a beautiful blowjob?
#4.3.2 (Edited 752d ago ) | Agree(8) | Disagree(1) | Report
Godmars290  +   752d ago
@claud3:

You sure as heck don't get any points for complaining about a story component which happens to involve sex.

At least its doesn't go the ME route towards portraying sex. Have people in bed after the fact still in their underwear.
sjaakiejj  +   752d ago
It's well written and even better delivered, but I already have two MMOs, and in combination with every other MMO I've played I'm really cautious about anything that has a monthly subscription fee. Reason being that during the first few hours every MMO feels rather fresh, but after X amount of hours playing they all feel exactly like WoW.

I'll wait for this to go F2P and give it a shot then.
RoyaleWC  +   752d ago
I was jaded on mmo's and sick of the mindless quests, but this just has something different about it. Probably the fact there's no classes, and that quests aren't just 'goto this hub of people with ! above their head, get all the quests, make sure you do them all so you level up before you're directed to the next clump of quest givers'. It's a great game, and there is some new innovations like investigation missions which encourage you to research online using the ingame browser.
rdgneoz3  +   752d ago
If you hate mindless quests and all the running around for sh!t to collect, you should try out GW 2. The dynamic events are fun and no monthly fees. No being forced into a tank or healer role. Every class can self heal / buff teammates and take some hits. One thing I do love is being able to put farming mats into your bank from anywhere so you don't have to keep dumping stuff off at a bank half the time to make room. And the choices you make about your characters background in the character creation part actually affects some of the quests you get as you go through the game and people's interactions with you.
Elvis  +   752d ago
I love oral sex.
AgreeFairy  +   752d ago
No you don't.
Elvis  +   752d ago
Of course I do, who doesn't?
AgreeFairy  +   752d ago
The person giving it to you.
rdgneoz3  +   752d ago
You have to have had it in order to love it.
Elvis  +   752d ago
Great, which means I love it.
Hanuman  +   751d ago
@Elvis: Your mom doesn't count
mynameisEvil  +   751d ago
(...that awkward moment when there are two people with Elvis as their avatar...)

@Hanuman
Really? That's the joke you want to make? *facepalm*
morganfell  +   752d ago
12 year olds - 1

game journalism - 0
Septic  +   752d ago
You were due a win ;)
CLOUD1983  +   752d ago
Games need more sex themes for sure we see it all the time on movies soft porn scenes almost everywhere why not in games also? and from my experience I know that subscription based mmmorpgs played mostly by ages of 20-30+ so they r all adults so what's the prob anyway? it will add some realism & spice things up so I am all for it.
dark-hollow  +   752d ago
Games don't "need" more sexual themes.
Especially since 90% are done in an immature way that portraits the average gamer as a sexually frustrated teenager.

when its done right (see heavy rain, mass effect etc) then it could add much to the game but if it stays TITZ AND VAGINAS BRAH FK YEAH! Then no thanks.
extermin8or  +   752d ago
lol mass effect? what you mean soft porn for robot's? I mean I see what you mean about it not being as immature as other titles *cough* red dead redemption *cough* but really you used Mass Effect as an example? it's cringe worthy how bioware portray their sex scenes in most games they make; at least you can skip the cutscenes mostly anyway :)
DontBanMeBro  +   752d ago
Wtf I pulled my dick out for this!?? FAIL
M83_  +   752d ago
Exactly fail!

You should have been able to get off with your pants still on :P
kimball232  +   752d ago
It's mind-blowing because she's blowing his other head/mind :)
jeeves86  +   752d ago
I don't understand. I watched through the whole thing. The animation wasn't on par with what I expected reading the description. The voice acting was whispery and a little seductive, but you can get that in your average porn flick.

Also, the guy...came a little fast, if that's what that animation was. Or was he just supposed to be shocked that she was giving him oral? Despite the fact that she indicated things were getting sexual the moment she climbed on top of him?
JohnApocalypse  +   752d ago
Lol, the look of the characters face at the end
tarbis  +   752d ago
lame
CommanderShepard  +   752d ago
Even I, the savior of the universe, finds Kotaku irrelevant.
MacDonagh  +   752d ago
For some reason, I find it mildly offensive. Is the membership so low that the Dragon has had to resort to oral sex favours to reach out to new members?
TotalSynthesisX  +   752d ago
inb4 "blowing" pun

o wait
DigitalRaptor  +   751d ago
Kotaku are so f**ked!
segamon  +   751d ago
this is ridiculous, who needs this shit in a video game?
#18 (Edited 751d ago ) | Agree(0) | Disagree(1) | Report | Reply
Smashbro29  +   751d ago
Now if only MMOs were actually worth something.
Hanuman  +   751d ago
Nice 2001 graphics they've got going on there..

Add comment

You need to be registered to add comments. Register here or login
Remember
New stories

Level-Start 22: Do You Support ESports On ESPN?

9m ago - "ESports on ESPN2 was a hot topic among people. Is this something you would support being feature... | PC
40°

Digital Journal Review: 'The Last of Us: Remastered' is a classic polished for the PS4

9m ago - It's always a challenge to improve an already perfect work of art but Naughty Dog would not settl... | PS4
20°

Dying Light Preview | CheatCC

10m ago - CCC Says: "Zombies! Zombies everywhere! That was the theme this year at E3 2014 and, to be honest... | PC

Review: Steelseries Stratus Controller | SHD

11m ago - All in all, The Stratus is an excellent joystick and, therefore, the only wireless controller av... | iPhone
Ad

Start Making Games for the PS4

Now - Want to design the next generation of video games? Start learning game design today. Click for more info on how to get started. | Promoted post
10°

Verdun commemorates the WW1 Centenary

12m ago - Verdun reflects on the WW1 Centenary and announces release date Coinciding the World War One c... | PC
Related content from friends