Submitted by -Mezzo- 1236d ago | video

Oral Sex in The Secret World is Simply Mind-Blowing

Kotaku - Each of the three secret societies in Funcom's paranormal MMO The Secret World have their own way of introducing players to the game's primary conflict. The Templar use magic. The Illuminati use drugs. And the mysterious Dragon? They induct their members the old fashioned, NSFW way.

In order to see the truth behind the comforting lie, one must first clear one's mind. There are many ways to achieve the necessary clarity. An expertly mixed narcotics cocktail might do the trick. Magic is definitely an option. (PC, The Secret World)

FarCryLover182  +   1236d ago
Are you sure its "mind" blowing and not blowing something else?
#1 (Edited 1236d ago ) | Agree(10) | Disagree(44) | Report | Reply
ProjectSiK  +   1236d ago
FarCryLover182  +   1236d ago
How is that a fail? I'm making a play on the title of the article, not the content.

It mentions oral sex, what else would it be talking about?
#1.1.1 (Edited 1236d ago ) | Agree(3) | Disagree(38) | Report
Stephen5543  +   1236d ago
"Fail" because it wasn't funny.
pixelsword  +   1235d ago
Oral sex in the real world is better. Get a wife/husband and find out for yourself.

I don't get how anyone could get excited about video game sex.
#1.1.3 (Edited 1235d ago ) | Agree(8) | Disagree(1) | Report
AlienLion  +   1235d ago
Really?!?! Its better in real life?!? No fuqing way! Please, tell us more of your adult experiences so that we know whats what!
PoSTedUP  +   1235d ago
hahahah alien
pixelsword  +   1228d ago
@ Alien:

The sad part is that you're probably dead serious.
Moby-Royale  +   1236d ago

That is what else he "could" be talking about.
M83_  +   1236d ago
Fail because it was so mind numbingly obvious it didn't need to be said.

Lack of it being funny also didn't help
FarCryLover182  +   1236d ago
Alright, let's forget I ever said anything. Probably for the best.
aPerson  +   1236d ago
We'll forget, but it'll cost you...
segamon  +   1235d ago
3 years later..

1: "hey look, isn't that.."
2: "well i'll be damned! it's the Fail-guy from N4G.. and he grew a mustach like that would help"
1: "now that, is funny!"

just kidding with ya, it's funny how things may turn sometimes. have a nice day.
#1.4.2 (Edited 1235d ago ) | Agree(4) | Disagree(2) | Report
Mike_Tha_Hero  +   1235d ago
OP, take your L.
SephirothX21  +   1235d ago
This pretty much sums up your effort:
hagla  +   1235d ago
TheTwelve  +   1235d ago
Pixelsword speaks wisdom!
smooch_357  +   1236d ago
All I saw from the title was "Oral Sex is Mind Blowing".... and then I clicked on it.
Hicken  +   1236d ago
Really, Kotaku? Guess I shouldn't be surprised, though.
Blackdeath_663  +   1236d ago
i think we're pretty used to it by now.
claud3  +   1236d ago
that is so so sad and dumb. get a freaking life really
azshorty2003  +   1236d ago
Edit-- never mind
#4.1 (Edited 1236d ago ) | Agree(2) | Disagree(8) | Report | Reply
bwazy  +   1236d ago
Says the guy with a girls DD's almost bursting out of his avatar.
claud3  +   1236d ago
yes. But that is cosplay and that is all
ATi_Elite  +   1236d ago
says the guy whose Avatar is virtually in 3D!
#4.3 (Edited 1236d ago ) | Agree(4) | Disagree(0) | Report | Reply
claud3  +   1236d ago
so i am not allowed to enjoy a natural lady in her form as a cosplay model. And look upon it as a beautiful lady
bwazy  +   1236d ago

Pretty sure blowjobs are more natural than cosplay models, and have definitely been around A LOT longer than them.

So are we now allowed to enjoy a natural blowjob in the form of a videogame. And look upon it as a beautiful blowjob?
#4.3.2 (Edited 1236d ago ) | Agree(8) | Disagree(1) | Report
Godmars290  +   1235d ago

You sure as heck don't get any points for complaining about a story component which happens to involve sex.

At least its doesn't go the ME route towards portraying sex. Have people in bed after the fact still in their underwear.
sjaakiejj  +   1236d ago
It's well written and even better delivered, but I already have two MMOs, and in combination with every other MMO I've played I'm really cautious about anything that has a monthly subscription fee. Reason being that during the first few hours every MMO feels rather fresh, but after X amount of hours playing they all feel exactly like WoW.

I'll wait for this to go F2P and give it a shot then.
RoyaleWC  +   1236d ago
I was jaded on mmo's and sick of the mindless quests, but this just has something different about it. Probably the fact there's no classes, and that quests aren't just 'goto this hub of people with ! above their head, get all the quests, make sure you do them all so you level up before you're directed to the next clump of quest givers'. It's a great game, and there is some new innovations like investigation missions which encourage you to research online using the ingame browser.
rdgneoz3  +   1236d ago
If you hate mindless quests and all the running around for sh!t to collect, you should try out GW 2. The dynamic events are fun and no monthly fees. No being forced into a tank or healer role. Every class can self heal / buff teammates and take some hits. One thing I do love is being able to put farming mats into your bank from anywhere so you don't have to keep dumping stuff off at a bank half the time to make room. And the choices you make about your characters background in the character creation part actually affects some of the quests you get as you go through the game and people's interactions with you.
Elvis  +   1236d ago
I love oral sex.
AgreeFairy  +   1236d ago
No you don't.
Elvis  +   1236d ago
Of course I do, who doesn't?
AgreeFairy  +   1236d ago
The person giving it to you.
rdgneoz3  +   1236d ago
You have to have had it in order to love it.
Elvis  +   1236d ago
Great, which means I love it.
Hanuman  +   1235d ago
@Elvis: Your mom doesn't count
mynameisEvil  +   1235d ago
(...that awkward moment when there are two people with Elvis as their avatar...)

Really? That's the joke you want to make? *facepalm*
morganfell  +   1236d ago
12 year olds - 1

game journalism - 0
Septic  +   1236d ago
You were due a win ;)
CLOUD1983  +   1236d ago
Games need more sex themes for sure we see it all the time on movies soft porn scenes almost everywhere why not in games also? and from my experience I know that subscription based mmmorpgs played mostly by ages of 20-30+ so they r all adults so what's the prob anyway? it will add some realism & spice things up so I am all for it.
dark-hollow  +   1236d ago
Games don't "need" more sexual themes.
Especially since 90% are done in an immature way that portraits the average gamer as a sexually frustrated teenager.

when its done right (see heavy rain, mass effect etc) then it could add much to the game but if it stays TITZ AND VAGINAS BRAH FK YEAH! Then no thanks.
extermin8or  +   1236d ago
lol mass effect? what you mean soft porn for robot's? I mean I see what you mean about it not being as immature as other titles *cough* red dead redemption *cough* but really you used Mass Effect as an example? it's cringe worthy how bioware portray their sex scenes in most games they make; at least you can skip the cutscenes mostly anyway :)
DontBanMeBro  +   1236d ago
Wtf I pulled my dick out for this!?? FAIL
M83_  +   1236d ago
Exactly fail!

You should have been able to get off with your pants still on :P
kimball232  +   1236d ago
It's mind-blowing because she's blowing his other head/mind :)
jeeves86  +   1236d ago
I don't understand. I watched through the whole thing. The animation wasn't on par with what I expected reading the description. The voice acting was whispery and a little seductive, but you can get that in your average porn flick.

Also, the guy...came a little fast, if that's what that animation was. Or was he just supposed to be shocked that she was giving him oral? Despite the fact that she indicated things were getting sexual the moment she climbed on top of him?
JohnApocalypse  +   1236d ago
Lol, the look of the characters face at the end
tarbis  +   1236d ago
CommanderShepard  +   1235d ago
Even I, the savior of the universe, finds Kotaku irrelevant.
MacDonagh  +   1235d ago
For some reason, I find it mildly offensive. Is the membership so low that the Dragon has had to resort to oral sex favours to reach out to new members?
TotalSynthesisX  +   1235d ago
inb4 "blowing" pun

o wait
DigitalRaptor  +   1235d ago
Kotaku are so f**ked!
segamon  +   1235d ago
this is ridiculous, who needs this shit in a video game?
#18 (Edited 1235d ago ) | Agree(0) | Disagree(1) | Report | Reply
Smashbro29  +   1235d ago
Now if only MMOs were actually worth something.
Hanuman  +   1235d ago
Nice 2001 graphics they've got going on there..

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