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Rage of the Day: Why can’t I steal anything?

Pixelitis: (Editor’s note: In this feature series, our staff gets the chance to let off some steam -Bennett- and talk about some of the more infuriating aspects of the games and systems we love. After all, not everything can be rainbows and sunshine.)

Ever since I was a kid, I’ve been fascinated with the idea of the rogue, the rebel, the vagabond, and the all-around jack-of-all-trades thief. I grew up idolizing Robin Hood, Autolycus from Hercules: The Legendary Journeys, (who was played by Bruce Campbell, so no shortage of awesome there), and even though they were always a pretty weak class, I always chose to have a thief in my party in any iteration of the Final Fantasy series.

Thieves were always emblematic of skill and dexterity, with just the right amount of wit and charm to see themselves through any tough situation. A thief made up for a lack of brawn with a surplus of cunning. Thieves are usually the lucky type, but their character doesn’t hinge on that single attribute alone. That’s what the Gambler class is for.

So why on earth, with a skill set so dedicated to dexterity and ability, do all my attempts at thievery in videogames boil down to a game of chance?

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