Ice is a dish - best served cold


CRank: 7Score: 0

User Review : Super Mario 64

  • Generally very fun
  • Powerful story
  • Will make you angry with society
  • No references to the sequel, Goldeneye 64
  • Borrows a lot from Super Mario Galaxy

It's Super Mario 64

It's still Super Mario 64. Yes. That good old game with Mario running around in 64 bits and 3 dimensions that we all remember as if it was yesterday. That's because it was yesterday - on Wii Arcade that is. Super Mario 64 stars Mario. Only one Mario, which given the title is disappointing, but he is super, I will give him that.

As a henchman for the plumber's union you travel to an uncharted island to take care of the plumbing for your client, Bowser. Bowser, however, refuses to pay the additional costs needed to provide Mario with a proper HMO, and seeks to exploit the fact that he is an illegal immigrant, so instead of taking on the insane amount of plumbing needed in Bowser's castle (seriously, there are entire levels underwater) Mario decides to go on strike.

While on strike he finds out that Bowser is employing animals (PETA, look out!) as well as holding a princess captive. Being an Italian, Mario pays no attention to the tormented wildlife, but decides to deliver his union's demands to the princess instead. But first he has to find the princess, and thus begins the story of Super Mario.

It ends with Mario rescuing the princess.

The gameplay is incredibly fun. Lots of variation in both setting and gameplay makes for a tasteful pasta salad of a game - one that I am sure Mario himself would appreciate if served to him back in his hometown of Naples. But Mario is no vegetarian (again PETA, please get involved) and the experience has got some meat to its bones in terms of great music and memorable characters. My favourites including Michael, Sonny and of course Don Vito Corleone. Indeed a man of visions.

But how does the game hold up in 2012? Well, you'd be shocked to know that the game hasn't changed a bit! I would think it would be completey different. That up would be down, right would be left and left would be Tony Danza. Unfortunately the rest of the gaming world has changed, and Super Mario 64 now looks like complete crap in comparison. So, yeah. Try working on the graphics next time, Nintendo. But for its time the graphics were really good. Colorful and cheerful. I'm really quite surprised that the Wii can run it so smoothly.

So should you buy it? No. You should focus on paying your debt instead of making yourself entitled to play another game. But when you're debt free and freedom and liberty rules the world again, then maybe you can buy the game. Meanwhile I'll be having the best time playing this game.

/An edited sample has been posted on

This is 2012, soon it will be 2013 and then 2320 is right around the corner. Graphics are gonna be pretty underwhelming by then. Then again, imagine how mindblowing this would've been in the late 15th century.
Love the music, and the iconic "wooho" sounds made by the mysterious invisible union owls surrounding Mario.
Boom! No, but it is quite good.
Fun Factor
All right. Definitely perfect.
No online co-op, no competetive multiplayer, no leaderboards or achievements. THANK YOU.
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UnderageSalmon2226d ago

Henchmen for Plumber Union. Love it :)

coolbeans2225d ago

"Being an Italian, Mario pays no attention to the tormented wildlife, but decides to deliver his union's demands to the princess instead."

I've been so ignorant for all this time. No wonder he was so hard-pressed to save the princess.

UnderageSalmon2225d ago

Green Peace are currently investigating the Plumber Union.

SilentNegotiator2223d ago

What's with all the "funny" review postings lately?

C_Menz2223d ago (Edited 2223d ago )

Review comes off as trying to force stereotypes, stupid humor down your throat, and the occasional Nintendo jab in there. I'm not fan of Nintendo and don't own a Wii, but reviews that at 90% filled with crap aren't really reviews.

360ICE2222d ago

Thank you! Greenpace ought to keep their noses to themselves though.

Yeah, and this is what happens in every Mario game!

There's nothing funny about employers exploiting cheap labour.

Well, while the review certainly is trying to force offensive stereoypes and stupidity, N4G does have guidelines I have to follow. Don't know if I needed as much as 90% crap, but 40% seems to be the minimum standard for the hottest articles on here.

PhantomTommy2221d ago

You are clearly insane but this is great.

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