So... someone asked me to write a spoof silly thing about Halo 3.. and I thought I'd go ahead and post it on here.
Halo 3 Updates
Janine: “Today on HealthWatch- the latest strain of the deadly Halo virus that claimed so many lives in 2001 is now back and stronger than ever. Here’s HealthWatch special reporter Natasha Kensington with the latest updates…”
Natasha Kensington: “Thank you Janine- as you mentioned the virus is back, and in fact, stronger than ever with the number of cases increasing by the hour. Over a thousand cases have been confirmed worldwide and this latest strain is the deadliest of all. As you can see from our confirmed cases map- North America is seeing the worst of what doctors and researchers are now calling Halo 3. Those working on cures and a variation of the anti-virus used to stop the original strain say there still may be hope for a future for those affected by Halo 3…”
Dr. Rourke: “What we are seeing in patients who suffer from Halo 3 are the same signs from the original strain in ’01.” The virus is spread most commonly through person to person contact. We see groups of younger, healthy people…. with their friends and once one person has it in a close-knit group – it just spreads like wildfire. We’re seeing it tear apart families, because quarantine is vital to keep it from spreading. Once a patient gets the Halo 3 virus- the symptoms take effect almost instantly. Loss of appetite, patient develops a fear of leaving their home; you get these bright, young- otherwise healthy individuals- and once they contract Halo 3 and it begins to take it’s toll on the body… they become vegetable-like, in a sense. In 95% of the cases we have studied- those affected could no longer focus on anything that once mattered. They don’t want to spend time with families, they don’t enjoy going out; it’s like the withdrawal from the outside world.
In many cases, those being monitored suffered night terrors that included shouting out similar words in all cases such as “lag,” and “programmed.” We still don’t know what connection these words have to the Halo 3 epidemic. This does, however, tell us just how mentally damaging a virus of these proportions can become.
That’s why we have been working around the clock on ODST. It is still in it’s rawest form- several tests and trials runs have been done, but nothing that can be released to date is a sure way to completely wipe out Halo 3. Our goal is to have the ODST anti-virus readily available to those currently suffering from Halo 3 in the fall of this year. ODST will resemble many AIDS/HIV medications in that it will only temporarily fix victims- at least until we can Reach out to them with something stronger… something permanent.”
Natasha Kensingtion: “Now-- doctors do recommend you report any suspicious symptoms in yourself or others to your nearest hospital immediately. Symptoms to look for include the following:
-sudden withdrawal from normal activities
-delusions
-loss of appetite
-extreme rage
-mood swings
-paranoia
-poor hygiene due to lack of will to live
-no concept of real time
-night terrors
So as you can see Janine- it is important for us all to help stop the spread of the Halo 3 virus. Doctors also strongly recommend staying away from those with Halo 3. People should avoid parties where large quantities of people could be exposed. This – along with around the clock research for a cure- can slowly help destroy all that is Halo 3… back to you Janine.”
Janine: Thank you… that was our very own Natasha Kensington with your HealthWatch update. Tune in tonight at 6 to see the full interview with Dr. Rourke, founder of the ODST Research Center: Race for the Cure program. Up next- Chinese government officials make more arrests in connection with the recent virtual robberies of a bank in a popular online video game… details after the break.”
Waiting a decade for new instalments in franchises as massive as Fallout and Elder Scrolls feels like a waste.
Microsoft have Obsidian but I feel it's Bethesda who just don't want to play ball as they've always said they want to do it themselves.
Once MS bought Zenimax in 2020 they should have put the Outer Worlds 2 on the back burner, allow Bethesda to finish off its own Space RPG with Starfield (despite totally different tone why have two in your first party portfolio with two developers who's gameplay is a tad similar) and got Obsidian for one of their projects to make a spiritual successor to New Vegas.
When the Elder Scrolls VI is finished Bethesda can then onto the main numbered Fallout 5 themselves.
The Outer Worlds 2 started development in 2019 so putting it on the back burner wouldn't have been the end of the world, they'd have always come back to it once Fallout was done and it would have been nicely spaced out from Starfields release once they had most likely stopped supporting it and all the expansions were released.
If they did this back in 2020 when they bought Zenimax and the game had a good, steady 4 - 5 years development, you might have seen it release in 2025.
We are literally going to be waiting until 2030 at the very earliest for Fallout 5 and all they seem bothered about is pushing Fallout 76.
Its not just only Todd not playing ball.
Obsidian have made a name for themselves in delivering stellar RPGs, but most famous once have always been sequels/spin-offs to borrowed IPs like KOTOR 2, Neverwinter Nights 2, Fallout: New Vegas, Stick of Truth etc.
Obsidian wants to invest more in their own original IPs like Outer Worlds or Pillars of Eternity with Avowed.
Similar to what Bluepoint & inXile wants to do or Kojima is doing (i.e not involving anymore in Konami's IPs).
So yea, even if New Vegas has the most votes from 3D Fallout fans, Obsidian just wants to do their own thing, like any aspiring dev studio and MS is likely currently respecting that.
But a future Fallout game from Obsidian will surely happen. Founder Feargus Urquhart has already stated an year ago that they're eager to make a new Fallout game with Bethesda, New Vegas 2 or otherwise. Urquhart was the director of the very first 1995's Fallout game after all.
And don't forget Brian Fargo and his studio inXile, as Brian Fargo was the director of Fallout's 1988 predecessor: Wasteland
Obsidian should take over the FO IP. They're do far better with it than Bethesda who hasn't made a great game for almost 15 years
I disagree. Part of these games is the support for the mod community. If they move to releasing a "next game" every 2 or 3 years, the modding support plummets and the franchises turn into just another run of the mill RPG.
Make the games good enough to withstand the test of time, to keep people coming back to them and expanding on them with mod support.
"The Vancouver-based (Canada) indie games developer Blinkmoon Games are today very happy and proud to announce that their dark fantasy bullet heaven "Necromantic", is coming to PC via Steam Early Access in 2024." - Jonas Ek, TGG.
Athenian Rhapsody is a JRPG with a difference: alongside turn-based combat & exploration, you'll need to complete WarioWare-style microgames.
...cahk. hahahaha. This story is totally about me.
lol My best friend has all those symptoms.Such a Halo nut
reminds me of the WoW disease. Also nice Reach reference.
funny read....Whoda thought halo 3 could be funny....But yeah agreeing with baseball fan. Nice Reach reference....Cause it actually makes alot of sense when you think about it.
am only 12.what is this?